For a minute, forget about the elevated risk of encountering sharks when surfing at dusk. There’s another wild animal you’re more likely to encounter on land during that period.

If you live in San Diego, there’s a good chance your neighbors are skunks. And I don’t mean that in a symbolic or metaphorical way.

“The striped and spotted skunks are common in San Diego County’s rural and urban areas; the striped skunk is larger and more common than the spotted skunk. Although their markings vary, these bushy- tailed creatures are always black and white and absolutely unmistakable.” (projectwildlife.com)

I’ve noticed skunks around my neighborhood for a while. It’s a rural spot in Leucadia, so there’s a lot of wildlife, which is nice. But there is one skunk in particular (very distinct stripe) I’ve seen patrolling the perimeter of the property frequently. I’ve joked about him for a while. I almost collided with him while riding my bike once before. So I guess it was only a matter of time.

Last night, hopping off my bike just after dark, I came through the gate that leads to my door, and heard rustling very close. I figured it was a lizard or something small. But I quickly realized it was bigger. And then saw the white stripe. I’ll tell you what, it was a real big boy, this skunk. A healthy skunk.

It’s safe to say we both were very scared of each other at that moment. It reminded me of a line Samuel L. Jackson (Jules Winfield) says in Pulp Fiction, “You know what happens when mutherf@ckers get scared, Ringo? When mutherf@ckers get scared, mutherf@ckers get shot.”

I was frozen, and oddly, without thinking, I spoke to the skunk: “Oh-ah, easy buddy, easy buddy, easy buddy.”

Then I realized I was talking to a skunk, who was recoiled in a dark corner two feet away, pointing it’s ass at me. So I snapped out of it and started running toward my porch. As I did, I heard a sound kind of like a someone blowing through a peashooter.

At first, I thought I’d escaped unscathed. But when I reached my porch about 20 yards away, I realized one of the most noxious and pungent odors I’ve ever encountered was following me. Actually, it was right on top of me. My fears/ jokes about skunk encounters suddenly became a harsh reality… But c’mon, what’s a Tuesday night without being sprayed by a skunk, stripping naked on your porch, putting your clothes in a trash bag, and preparing to burn them. Damned if I know.

Luckily, it get didn’t spray me directly on skin. I can’t tell whether it got my clothes, or bike, or just bombed the area and it engulfed me. Or maybe I’m just desensitized to the odor. Come to think of it, I’ve been getting a few funny looks around the office today.

Anyway, in conclusion, the experience made me contemplate a couple things.

First, besides ruining the days of other animals and humans, what purpose do they serve? I’m glad I researched this, before taking up skunk hunting.

“Skunks are excellent at rodent and insect control and their diet includes black widow spiders and scorpions. Being carrion eaters, they help keep roadways and neighborhoods clean. With their slow, waddling gait and bushy tail, these gentle mammals are delightful to see from a distance, and play an important role in keeping nature in balance - the natural way.” (fundwildlife.org)

And my second question, how many other people have had a direct interaction/ altercation with a skunk? Not many, it turns out.

“I’ve got plenty of skunks in my yard,” said my brother. “However, unlike you, I’ve managed to stay clear of them.”

“No bro?I chased one once but never got sprayed,” said Jon C.

“Not yet,” said my friend Hew.

“I guess my only way to comment on this is to ask the following,” waxed Dave. “If you were a skunk, would you spray you? I thought so.”

So although data is limited and inconclusive, I guess that makes the odds of getting sprayed by a skunk kind of like being bit by a shark. You’re probably more likely to be struck by lightning.

Regardless, while a skunk’s threat isn’t as grave as a shark’s, the memory of the interaction will linger (literally) for quite some time.